Celebrating Adoption - The Truth about Celebrating Adoption

In the United States there is a large market for babies and young children for adoption - aging baby boomers who waited too long to have a child, singles and gays also hope to adopt. Adoption agencies and adoption attorneys profit from the "sale" of babies under the guise of "adoption services", or from donations for this "charitable" work.

When people find a baby to adopt, they call it a "miracle" and they celebrate.

Celebrating the miracle of adoption?

Adoption is no miracle, but part of a carefully-planned strategy. Vulnerable mothers and poor families are used as a source of children for adoption.

• Celebrating Adoption from Foster Care
• Celebrating Domestic Infant Adoption
• Celebrating "Birthmother's Day"
• Celebrating Inter-country Adoption
• Invited to an Adoption Party?
• What about real orphans?
• How "Positive Adoption Language" Tears Families Apart

Celebrating the miracle of adoption from foster care?

To learn about child protective services and some of the methods used to get babies for adoption, read US Adoption Law Tears Family Apart.

From the Franklin First News: New Jersey DYFS Takes Father's Child At Birth In Hospital.
by Jessica DelBalzo, free-lance writer and researcher

How Poverty Separates Parents and Children: A Challenge to Human Rights a study by ATD Fourth World - with forewards by United Nations and UNICEF, includes a description of how United States child protection system (CPS) separates family members on the basis of poverty. Discusses 1997 Adoption and Safe Families Act (ASFA) and it's contribution to the "unfair dissolution of many families"...States that "A child in the United States blames her parents for not protecting her from the child protection system."

Celebrating the miracle of domestic infant adoption?

Read Known Consequences of Separating a Mother and Her Baby. Most of the data for the studies was collected in the era of "closed adoption". To "fix" the problems, "open adoption" where the natural family and child may have continuing contact has been suggested.

Open adoption is heavily promoted by those agencies and lawyers who broker domestic infant adoptions. The promise of openness - pictures, letters and possibly even continuing contact with her child - is made to lure a pregnant mother in. The "professionals" know that if prospective adopters are selected in advance, the mother will find it difficult to say "no" to these seemingly friendly people after her beautiful baby is born.

There are government-funded Infant Adoption Awareness Training Programs (IAATP) conducted by adoption agencies. Professionals have developed books and training materials on how to get babies away from vulnerable mothers.

Adoption is no miralce and no cause for a celebration. Adoption is a feudal social construct - with naive mothers and poor families being used to supply the market for babies. Some mothers find separation from their son or daughter so much more painful than they ever could have imagined in advance, that they commit suicide.

An adoption celebration is the celebration of the acquisition of a baby or small child by unrelated people. The word "adoption" is really a euphamism for buying a small human being. The baby being adopted is rarely an orphan. She nearly always has a living mother - and father, grandparents and siblings - who love her already.

Regardless of how friendly they appear to be, prospective adopters' concern is not for what they call "the birthmother" (aka "birth thing") - their concern is how to get a baby. After the "open" adoption is finalized the promises made to the natural mother to get her to surrender her child may all be broken. Even when an adoption stays open, there is always fear on the part of the natural family. A natural mother may agonize over the wording of a letter knowing that if one sentence phrased the wrong way the open adoption may be closed. In most states, the open adoption agreement is not legally binding. Even in those states where an "open adoption" agreement is legally binding, the adoptive people can escape their obligation to the natural family by moving out of state.

Celebrating "birthmothers" or having a "birthmother's day celebration"?

Celebrating women as "birthmothers" (aka "birth objects") rather than as mothers is a despicable idea. With "birthmother's day", natural mothers are being demoted to a separate day. They should be honoring a child's natural mother on Mother's Day. A mother is a "mother" (not "birthmother", aka "birth thing"). "Birthmothers Day" is promoted by many of the same people who "celebrate adoption". Celebrating "birthmothers" - and "birthmother's day" celebrations! It's nauseating how they are using women as if they were not human beings, the mothers of their own children. In some churches, women who have had abortions are honored as "mothers" on Mother's Day. But women who have been used as if they were livestock to make babies for the wealthy and infertile do not even get mentioned on Mother's Day. This is sick indeed.

When a mother who gives birth needs a little help people should not take advantage of her to get her baby. The natural mother is the one who should get the baby shower and celebrate. After nine months of pregnancy, surely she deserves the joy of raising her own child.

"Unwed" teen mother myths

Don't fall for the promises of "open adoption". They may want your child, but your child needs you.

Pregnant, Unplanned Pregnancy? Go to A Mother's Song for more information and help.

"Birthmother's Day" Celebrations - Celebrating "birthmotherhood" is celebrating the oppression of single moms.

Celebrating the miracle of inter-country adoption?

The US is corrupt, but families in other countries are being used by the adoption industry as well. The kids are called "orphans" by the baby-brokers, but many of these children do have adult family members from whom they are stolen or coerced. Adoption is a feudal social construct - with naive mothers and poor families being used to supply the market for babies.

More on international adoption including Korean adoptees' reaction to baby-farming in Korea. With all it's money and power, the United States can easily strong-arm other countries and make them hand over their smallest citizens.

Celebrating adoption or invited to an adoption party?

Maybe you will think again about where that baby came from. Instead of the usual adoption gifts, give a gift in the name of the adopters to a struggling young mom or an organization that assists natural families in staying together.

What about real orphans?

There may be a child who has no relative to care for her. In this case she would be best served if cared for by people who will respect her natural family and try to keep in touch with them or - if they are deceased - try to keep their memory alive for her. Being cared for by an aging lesbian in a completely different culture is unlikely to be the best situation for a child.

Fixing societal systems would go a long way toward preventing family separation. Many disabled "special needs" kids might have been cared for in their own family if they had half the resources available to them that adopters do. Of course "special needs" does not necessarily mean a child is disabled. If there are two cute little siblings, they will be designated "special needs". If a child does not "attach" to adopters, then she is "special needs". Every chilld separated from family is suffering - so just give a kid ritalin and voila! - you have a "special needs" child. When a child is designated "special needs" the bonuses provided by the federal government for adoption from foster care are higher - and the benefits available to adopters go way up.

Celebrating adoption means celebrating exploitation and family separation. It's time to support and celebrate natural families! It's time to celebrate the miracle of birth, celebrate the true mother and child.

Read More: Teen Pregnancy, Unwed Mother Myths and Facts